This is Never Easy

[Rebekka Stromholm]

Would it ever get easier for her to do? Coming back here to see her siblings? To the town where most of the people inside of it would want her dead if they knew who she really was? Every time she decided to visit, the debate came up. It was like there was a miniature war in her head. Especially when she saw all the guards. They made her second guess herself at every turn. Until she got to her siblings, that is. Then all trace of doubt was gone, and she genuinely felt happy.

But then afterwards it all came rushing back. What was she doing here? Wasn't it enough to just send them the money and a note every once in a while? Why did she actually have to come out here? She was a bandit for fuck's sake. She wanted to keep her siblings from turning into what she was, but she kept coming around. They didn't need a mother figure, they had their grandmother. But that thought sobered her right away. A question always came up when she acknowledged the fact. Yes they had her, but for how long?

Right then, Rebekka didn't want to think. She wanted to eat and drink and forget for a while. So she went to the nearest place she could and got herself some actually good food. Thankfully most people gave her a wide berth. She didn't exactly scream "friendly" from how she looked.

[Erin Vivant]

"Gavin, slow down!" A chiding voice called, ringing out over the buzz of the marketplace. "Nah, you speed up!" The boy replied, throwing the answer over his shoulder as he skipped down the street. A tired smile crossed the caretaker's face and she pushed herself into a jog. "You know I can't properly look after you if you keep running off." She noted as she came up beside him. The boy shrugged, tossing his head around like a colt trying to be rid of a bridle. "So!? I dun' need lookin' aftah!"

Huffing, Erin kept pace. "Well that's not quite your decision yet, 'Mistah'." She replied, imitating his accent. Gavin shot her a cheeky glare and she reached out, ruffling the dusty mop of curls on his head. "Where to now, then?" As if she had to ask. The boy, like most children, was driven by a limited number of things, and sweets were at the top of the list.

She'd been caring for Gavin since he was a summer old, whenever he got to be too much for his parents to handle. They couldn't keep up with him when they were working, so they hired Erin to let him stretch his legs. That said, the poor lad only left the house about twice a week. So, as an act of pity and sometimes bribery, Erin always took him to the local tavern to get him a treat.

"C'mon!" The lad shouted over his shoulder as he bounded through the door. They came up next to a woman who already had a drink in her hand. "Hiya! I'm Gavin. What's yer name?" Erin sighed. "Gavin." Her voice, while sweet, cut a little sharper through the noise. Walking up bside them, she offered the woman a penitent smile. "Our apologies, Miss. We didn't mean to interrupt your afternoon. Gavin here's a bit of a wily one."

[Rebekka Stromholm]

Suddenly there was a little kid. No, scratch that. A little energetic ball of energy on legs. Rebekka paused with her drink and glanced down at him. The fact he had enough guts to come up to her decked out in gear as she was either told her the kid was brave. Or very stupid. Yet with her head on her siblings, she couldn't help but somehow draw some similarities. Enough to make her not smack the boy but smirk instead.

But then there was a woman. His mother? Maybe, but Rebekka wasn't entirely sure. She seemed polite enough. Or at least had enough sense to apologize. Rebekka just snickered. He was a bit of a wily one? "That's more than a little obvious." She responded, smirking again. "The name's Rebekka, kid. And you should be careful approaching strangers like that. Especially armed ones." She warned. The sword at her hip wasn't too obvious due to the table. But it was still there.

[Erin Vivant]

"Wow! A real sword! With a scabbard an' everythin'! Jus' look at it!" Oh good. Weapons. Erin's forced smile spread from nervousness. The woman seemed amiable enough, but the main part of her job was making sure her charges were returned to their guardians safely, and while Gavin had a talent for being a charming lad, his ethusiam could grow stale if he wasn't reined in. 

"Can I touch it?" The boy asked, reaching for it befor the stranger could give him an answer. Erin intervened and swatted his hand away. "Gavin! How impolite can you be?" The boy sniffed and stared at his toes. "Sorreh." He muttered. 

Feeling like she owed the woman a debt for the intrusion, she called the barkeep over. Ordering a couple of tarts for the lad, she turned back to the stranger, offering her a more genuine smile this time. "Might I buy you another drink as payment for an interrupted meal?"

[Rebekka Stromholm]

The boy was practically ecstatic to see she had a sword. Rebekka just raised an eyebrow. It wasn't as if she were the only one walking the city with a sword. The boy likely had plenty of other swords to see. Clearly the other woman looked nervous. Then the boy asked to touch it, and Rebekka couldn't help but laugh. It sounded a bit harsh, as usual. The woman immediately reprimanded him for it, and the boy apologized.

"Asking to touch sword isn't a smart idea, boy." Rebekka informed him. "You're likely to cut your fingers off, and if that happens then you'll never be able to wield one." She added, smirking. It was a little morbid, but the truth. She was just being realistic with him.

Then the woman was offering to buy her another drink. Rebekka's ears perked up at that and her smirk changed into a grin. "Well if you really feel so bad, I certainly won't stop you from getting me a drink." She responded. It was free. Why would she argue against that?

[Erin Vivant]

The woman was right, of course. Swords were a far too common thing in this world, but to the little boy, this discovery was a treasure. "Me Ma and Pa are tailors, s' the only thing I'm around is pins an' needles. The blacksmith's our neighbor be 'e always shoos me away, says I ain't go not business comin' around and meddlin' in his work. I can't wait for the day when I 'ave a sword of me own! I'll be a proper knight an' everythin'!"

It was a delirious dream, but one that kept Gavin motivated and hopeful for the days to come, so how could Erin chide him? Taking a seat next to the other woman, she directed Gavin to take the next chair down, creating an automatic buffer between the garrulous lad and their new companion. 

Nodding as Rebekka accepted her offer, she gave her order to the barmaid before turning her attention back to the other woman. "You don't look like you're from around here." Erin began, hoping to strike up a friendly conversation. "Are you visiting someone or just passing through?"

[Rebekka Stromholm]

The boy's parents were tailors, which would explain why it was such a discovery for him. Apparently she wasn't the only one to shoo him off either. When he made mentions of being a knight, Rebekka snickered. "A knight, huh?" She responded. What was it with these kids and always wanting to be knights? It had to be the armor, or the idea that they'd be some glorious warrior off saving princesses. Whatever it was they got into their heads. "Just make sure you swear your vows to the right kind of lord, kid." Was all the advice she'd give him.

Thankfully the woman sat between her and the kid. As surprisingly tolerable as Rebekka was at that moment, she knew it wouldn't last. Especially if the boy's energy stayed this high. Although the extra drink might help brighten Rebekka's mood. The question thrown her way certainly didn't. It only brought the turmoil in her head back. She shook it in a vain attempt to get them to silence.

"You're right, I'm not from here." She responded, taking another gulp of her drink. It was almost empty anyways. Maybe the woman came at the right time after all. "I'm just here to collect coin for a job and eat." After that, she eyed the woman. "What about you huh? And this your kid?" She asked, gesturing to Gavin.

[Erin Vivant]

The barmaid returned shortly after with a plate of lemon cakes, Gavin’s favorite, and a refill for Rebekka. Weighing the promise of treats against the current conversation, the young boy soon proceeded to stuff his face, and for the first time since they entered the tavern, he was silent – save for the stray grunt and burp, of course.

Though she was trying to be friendly, Erin could sense the subtle shift in the woman’s demeanor as she conversation shifted to focus on her. Her sentences shortened and her tone grew brisk, at best. Not wanting to be a bother, Erin dipped her head, looking away to stare at her hands. “I see, well you picked a good spot, Gertrude makes some of the best venison stew around.”

Gavin took a moment to laugh at Rebekka’s inquiry. “Her? Me mum?” He snorted. “Nah, she jus’ looks after me sometimes when me parents dun wanna deal with me no more.” Erin spread her lips in a thin smile. “What he said. I’m a caretaker. Erin Vivant, it’s nice to meet you.”

[Rebekka Stromholm]

Lemon cakes came with the refill, and the boy was soon stuffing his face with them. At least it kept him silent for now. Rebekka traded her empty mug for the full one, and was already working on it. It was a good way to delay her responses. Fortunately, the other woman could take a hint and dropped the subject. It was a nice change of pace.

"Venison stew huh? I'll have to remember that." Rebekka responded with a smirk. It actually did sound like a good idea. The times she got well prepared food were very limited. While the food she cooked was passable, it was hard taking time to do it well when in the woods and always moving.

So she wasn't his mom? Just a caretaker instead. Rebekka had to snicker at the look she got after the boy piped in. "Call me Rebekka. Nice to meet you too, Erin." She replied, raising her drink before taking a swig. "You've certainly got a lot more patience than me if you're a caretaker."

[Erin Vivant]

The tavern walls were strewn with trophies and wreaths, a busy conglomeration to make the somewhat empty space seem a little less bare. The fragrance of berries, evergreens, and cooking meat mixed with the smoke from the fires and the abrasive reek of drunken.

These were the kinds of sensations Erin was used to. Though a fragile woman of personal constitution, when it came to her work she had a much stronger stomach, and living in the ranks of the needy had weaned her of her disgust when it came to the repulsive scents of the unwashed.

“You've certainly got a lot more patience than me if you're a caretaker." Erin chuckled. “Perhaps, though I must say, Gavin certainly is my most…energetic charge.” Troublesome, if she was being honest, but she didn’t want to jinx his currently good behavior by speaking ill of him now. “I take it you don’t have children then?”

[Rebekka Stromholm]

Energetic was a kind way of putting it. Rebekka could hear the slight pause before Erin said it. Obvious she had another word in mind. Annoying was what Rebekka would use. Her patience would have likely run out after a few minutes with the boy. And that would've only spelled bad and grim tidings for him.

Did she have children? Rebekka was glad she hadn't chosen that moment to drink, because she laughed long and hard. "Me? Children?" The very idea of it was hilarious and terrifying. She shook her head and then grinned widely. "No, I've no children. I don't think the world could handle them. Or that I could for that matter." She responded. Her siblings already made her mind rage with war and her heart ache. Children would only add to her worries.

"I'm guessing you don't have any either then?" She asked, drinking now. It made sense for a caretaker.

[Erin Vivant]

Her reaction was not one she expected and it was loud enough to revive Gavin from his sweet-induced stupor. He laughed with her, the expression contagious. Erin should have known. There weren’t many mothers that carried a sword on their hip. “My apologies, it was a presumptuous question.”

When the question was turned around on her, Erin nodded. “You’re correct, I’ve no children of my own.” Yet, she wanted to say. Though they weren’t for everyone, Erin enjoyed children. Charming, imaginative, and energetic, children had an inspirational enthusiasm for the world. Being around them made her appreciate things she wouldn’t recognize if she were alone.

“I have a few younger siblings though. I felt like a mother to them when we were growing up. They’d always get themselves into trouble.”

[Rebekka Stromholm]

The boy laughed with her, although Rebekka suspected he didn't know why. Laughter was laughter. It was infectious no matter what. Rebekka waved off the apology when Erin started to give one. "It was just a question." She replied with a shrug. It had done no real harm. Hell, it had gotten a laugh out of Rebekka instead. A good one too. That was rare enough.

She had no children either. But Rebekka had a feeling there was a "yet" at the end of that. Maybe she was waiting for "the one." That one special person everyone imagined was out there. Rebekka barely withheld from snorting out loud. The idea was ridiculous. Foolish even. The fact people actually believed it only made Rebekka laugh. If it was true, then Rebekka at least knew no one was waiting for her. How could there be?

There was mentions of siblings, and instantly Rebekka's mind went back to her own. Was she a mother already? She'd stolen her siblings from their blood mother. She hadn't deserved Rebekka, so she certainly hadn't deserved them. But Rebekka still couldn't help but think of the life she'd given them. Living with Nana wasn't an issue. If anything, Rebekka was glad for that. Yet they were living on coin earned by killing others. Half of them innocent. What if they found out? What if they knew already? Surely it wouldn't be that hard for them to piece it together.

"Trouble huh? I can understand that." She replied, her voice a hint softer than before. Her expression had relaxed somewhat too. Rebekka wasn't even aware of it. "What sort of trouble did yours get into?"

[Erin Vivant]

Erin noted how Rebekka’s demeanor softened. It was subtle, the way the hard edges of her mannerisms rounded out, but it made the conversation that much more inviting. It was clear the other woman had siblings of her own. Sharing that small bit of commiseration, a tender smile pulled at the corner of Erin’s lips and she fiddled with her hands, thinking on her memories.

“They’d get into all sorts of things. They were all good kids, of course, but my brothers had a knack for mischief, and my sister would follow along no matter what. One day, they took my father’s cart and pushed it up a large hill on the border of our neighbor’s farm. The extent of their thinking was that they’d ride down, the cart would go fast, and it would be a sensationally good time. It was, that is, until they plowed straight into said neighbor’s pumpkin patch. They were picking seeds out of their hair for a week.”

Chuckling, she extended her arm and ruffled Gavin’s hair, much to his displeasure. “It’s something this one would do in a heartbeat if I ever let him.” She said to the boy before turning back to the woman on her other side. “It sounds like you have a few stories of your own. What did your siblings manage to get up to?”

[Rebekka Stromholm]

Rebekka's own softening earned a tender smile, though that hadn't been her intention. Normally she'd sneer at the sight, but her thoughts were on her siblings. So she actually listened when Erin started talking about her siblings. She had to laugh a little at the end of it, and the harsh edge was not as prominent. From the sound of it, Erin's siblings were less well behaved than Rebekka's. Although she wasn't around enough to really say.

Rebekka gave Gavin a glance and a smirk. From how energetic he'd been acting at the start, Rebekka didn't doubt the fact. Although she had to look back a tad sharply when the question came. What did her siblings get up to? Rebekka had to think and fiddle with her drink for a few moments. Once again she was faced with the realization that she truly wasn't around them much. Their only "mother" was someone Vincent had found. But Rebekka, who'd stolen them from their real mother, was hardly around. Even if she was, Rebekka doubted she'd be a great role model anyways.

"I'm not really around them too much because of my job." She admitted surprisingly. "Though from what I hear they are mostly well behaved. Heh, better than me at least." The smirk that came with the statement was slightly sardonic. "So that's good."